Alexya Turns 5!

Happy Thanksgiving from Alexya & Santino!

Alexya had a Birthday Party at our house this year (since we finally have a house big enough to have people over) and we invited girls from her Kindergarten class to come. We ended up having about 10 girls from her class come over to celebrate her turning 5, Toy Story Style! She wanted a Toy Story (Jessie) Jumpy house-which we had for the whole day! Sonny and Lexy were out jumping starting at 10am in the freezing cold....having so much fun!

We had a Toy Story (Jessie) Birthday Cake (I couldn't find one anywhere...so I just ordered a plain/simple cake from Safeway and bought the little Toy Story figures at the Disney Store and put them on top. It was sooooo good! You can see the girls eating outside on the deck (including little Zoey who was keeping up with all the big girls!--love love love her!)

love love love cake!

Present Time!!!!

Ok, so present time started out very organized with all the presents on a small table behind Alexya and all her friends sitting well-mannered on the couches watching her......

.....and then.....

present time turned into a football huddle of girls slowly, but steadily closing in on Alexya as she furiously opened presents as fast as possible! If she was too slow, the present would be opened by helpful hands, not too far away. It was insanely intense, but magically, there were no fights or crying and everyone got an individual "thank you" and hug from Alexya. :)

After all the jumping, and presents and cake, the girls returned to the jumpy house for a game of "Alexya Says" and she had them all obeying her orders before heading home.

Overall, it was crazy with all the girls and parents, but it went fast and was organized so it was alot of fun! Robert asked if we could wait a "long time" before having another party like this one. I told him sure...he has a whole year until the next one! ;)

Oh, and by the way, if you're reading this and wondering why you didn't get a Christmas Card from us this year...it's because I just can't do them this year. Even with all the fun and distractions and moving forward with life, I just can't send out a card with my family's picture on it because it feels like someone is missing.

We love and miss you Francisco and you are with us in our hearts at Christmas and always. xoxo

Happy Halloween 2011!

Halloween was so great this year because we finally LIVE in the neighborhood that we always go trick-or-treating in!!! We got to have fun in a totally decorated, safe, fun neighborhood and meet our new neighbors at the same time. Alexya actually found out that we live 4 houses down from a girl in her class and so of course we ended up all trick-or-treating together! We also found out that another classmate (a boy) lives across the street and one house over. It's so great that we get to live close to her new friends. :)

Alexya (Jessie), Sonny (Woody) & Kara (Cinderella)

Trick-or-Treating Cousins!

I dressed up as "Jessie's Mommy" :)

The kids fingerpainted their pumpkins. Alexya went for the rainbow/smiley face approach....Sonny went for the black all over style....does this mean anything???? You tell me. ;)

Happy with his art work!

I LOVE this picture! (can you tell they're related? LOL!)

HUGS!

I was thinking about how lucky I am to have my kids and it inspired me to look back through pictures and find my favorite ones where they are both hugging each other. There are moments where Alexya wants to hug Sonny & he doesn't want a hug, and vice versa...but the moments when they both want to hug each other are the best for me.
So now Alexya has had a month and a half of Kindergarten and is in the swing of things. She has her best friends: Sara, Jocelynn, Malary & Teresa and looks forward to seeing them everyday, packing her lunch, doing homework and showing me what she made at school each day. She's learning how to write all the letters, capital and lowercase, and what sounds they make. She's very eager to learn, so it makes it fun. She's always asking me to quiz her on her letters and then she quizzes me! :) I've noticed Sonny starting to point out letters now too...trying to keep up with big sissy. I really loved school and so it's fun to get to do it again with Alexya.
So our daily routine is like this: wake up at 5-6am and have breakfast. I make my mocha w/my new espresso machine and coffee grinder (thanks Mom/Stephen & Robert!!! LOVE my b-day gifts every day!). We pack lunch and watch cartoons. We get ready for school and drop off Alexya at 10am then come home. I start my work, working for Aunt Candice/State Farm (Sonny is either being good and watching movies at this time, or being bad and getting time outs and having tantrums at this time...this will determine if it's a good day or bad day). Then it's "time to go pick up sissy" at 1:45. We come home and go over school work/do homework and eat lunch. Daddy's off at 3 and home usually by 4pm. Then it's play time or errand time until dinner time, bath time, bed time 8pm. .... Then it's my relax time when I get to watch all my Tivoed shows!!! Loving Vampire Diaries (except this season is bugging me so far) CSI, Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, the Mentalist, and the new show Revenge is really good! So this is our weekly routine and we really look forward to weekends!!!

This weekend is going to be not really looked forward to, however, because it's my due date of when I would have had Francisco, October 8th. Robert had a good idea of going to church (dropping off the kids first) and lighting a candle for him on his would-have-been birthday. We've been talking about what happened recently because it seemed like it all happened so fast and we just sort of pushed through it without really dealing with it together. Alot of emotions just got pushed down to deal with later...and now it's later. We talked about it and each decided to kind of remember him in a special way. I have a necklace that Theresa gave me for mother's day last year that has two charms on it- one girl w/a Topaz stone (Alexya's birthstone) and one boy w/a Garnet stone (Sonny's birthstone). I love my necklace and wear it every day because it's very special to me. So I decided to buy a charm for Francisco- a boy w/an emerald stone (his birthstone & deathstone?) Anyway, adding it to my necklace makes me feel like I have my complete family with me at all times and has made me feel really good. Everytime I get sad or miss him or think about him I just hold his little guy on my necklace. Robert had an idea to get another tatoo. He's got one on one arm that has my name and "mi vida" wrapping around a cross, and "hernandez" on his back. He wants to get one on his other arm now that has "Francisco" and some sort of angel wings or something special to remember him. I love the idea! I think it's helped us alot to talk about things and not just try to block it out. I think it's human nature to try to block out bad things that happen to you...but this bad thing was also a good thing and a family member, and so it's very confusing how to feel. I know we lost him and never got to meet him, but I also know that he's up in heaven watching over his family every day. I want to remember him and never forget him. We both love him very much and he's still one of our kids, just not here on earth.

"you gotta friend in me"

"Jesse & Woody!"
We went shopping with Mimi yesterday and got Alexya her halloween costume/birthday party outfit! She wants a Jesse themed birthday party (3 months from now) and so the outfit can be for 2 events....if it lasts that long. ;) Sonny got a Woody shirt and we'll have to find him a hat and boots for halloween too.

Sonny riding his bike at Papa Mike & Sushuma's house. He's gotten really good at riding his bike (a little too confident sometimes) really fast around our deck...so we decided to bring the bikes over to ride on another deck. :) The only obsticle was trying not to run over Leroy---see below

Leroy!

I'm not sure who has more energy....Leroy or the kids....but it was fun watching them run around and playing together at full speed! :)

Kindergarten Girl!!!!

My little girl is now in Kindergarten! She is so happy to finally start school and "learn how to read." She's got her new Jesse backpack and loves packing her lunch box everyday and wants to make lots of friends!

Sonny wanted to dress up for Sissy's first day of school. "Mommy, I look handsome!" he said.

Back to the Blog

So, it's been a LONG time since I blogged and that's because we went through a pretty horrific experience of losing our baby boy. I found out on May 20th that I was having a boy and we decided to name him Francisco. Also on that day I found out that I had "low amneotic fluid level" which was a concern, but nothing to worry about "just drink lots of water and we'll reevaluate over the weekend, contact you on Monday." So I wasn't too worried and went through my weekend (announcing that it was a boy) drinking lots of water. We got a call on Sunday saying to make an appointment on Monday with a specialist. We wondered why we needed to see a specialist and at that point got really worried that something was probably wrong and they just weren't telling us. Of course then I went online and saw that having low fluid can cause all sorts of horrible conditions and got totally freaked out-called my sister who told me "not to go on the internet anymore" and wait to see the specialist. So we made an appointment for that tuesday morning and went in to see the specialist. He looked at the baby with a Super ultrasound machine and saw that the baby actually didn't have any kidneys. He explained that this is a terminal diagnosis because the baby, once born, would just die without kidneys and there's no transplants for infants. He gave us the option of continuing the pregnancy and having the baby (which could be born with many defects and then would die immediately after birth) or to have the pregnancy terminated. Since I was already at 20weeks we would have to decide ASAP. I already knew my decision, because why would I want to continue the pregnancy for 4 more months just knowing that he would die and probably suffer, not to mention possibly be deformed. So I talked with Robert and we decided then and there to terminate our little Francisco. We made the appointment for that Friday morning May 27th (which is ironic because Alexya was born on Nov 27th and Sonny on Jan 26th). I had to wait 4 hours in the operating prep room for my turn in the operating room. Finally they put me under and I woke up insanely nauseous and tired. I only remember going into the room and everyone being really nice to me through the whole thing. It took about 3 weeks to fully recover physically, but emotionally we are still dealing with the loss of our kid everyday. Everyone was very supportive in our families and honestly it was really hard to tell people what happened because it felt like we screwed up somehow and it's hard having people feel sorry for you. I think now, that we've moved into our new house it's really been the best thing for us for moving forward and getting through this stuff. It still hurts alot to think about and I pray to my baby Francisco every night and tell him I love him and miss him. I see other people's babies and I think "they better appreciate what they have." It's crazy because we have two beautiful, healthy, smart kids (one boy, one girl) so technically we are really blessed and appreciate what we have, but it's hard when you start planning a future in your head and envision your family and then it's taken away so fast. It's hard accepting it all sometimes, but I know that's it's just another part of life that's thrown at me that's changed me, again, and move forward. We were told by the doctor and surgeon to wait 2-3 months and then we can try to get pregnant again. At least we have that to look forward to and will be VERY excited when that happens. The odds of what happened happening again are like a million to one they said. They said the fact that it even happened was a million to one and is totally random. There's nothing we could have done to prevent it, it's not genetic, and there's no way to detected it sooner. The specialist did offer to let us come in early and use his Super ultrasound, just for peace of mind though, with the next baby.
So, that's the story and I just wanted to get it down on paper because it is part of my life I want to remember and not just push down and hide it somewhere. I know that this, things like this, or miscarrages happen to lots of women and are just never talked about. Whatever works for you is what you should do I think, and it works for me to write it down. I love my kids and my family so much, we are so happy in our new home and neighborhood and Alexya just started Kindergarten yesterday!! So life is always moving ahead, good & bad.

I have to put up pictures of Alexya at school soon. She's so cute with her bright red, Jesse backpack! Her teacher's name is Mrs. Motta and she started yesterday off by making friends!

Alexya with her cousin Gabriela

Alexya, Audrey, Jena and Santino. Sonny was in love with Princess Jena! Lexy and Audrey were best buddies at the wedding, running, playing and getting into trouble together!

Sonny and Lexy at Grandma & Grandpa's house, down at the creek! They have so much fun there!

Hernandez Family Madness!!

It's been a LONG time since I updated this and that's because there is just so much happening in our lives right now! So, I'm going to try to keep it short and get all the updates in here.

1. We are moving to Martinez in July to live in one of Robert's parent's homes (the bigger one) and we will rent from them. Thank God for family because we definately need a bigger house and in a nicer neighborhood! :)

2. We are doing a short sale on our house since our neighborhood has gotten so ghetto, that we don't feel comfortable raising our kids here.

3. Alexya is starting Kindergarten, in Pleasant Hill at Valhalla Elementary, at the end of August. So excited for her!!!

5. We are at the end of potty training Santino, which has been a good idea, since we're still in the old house and accidents were daily. So no more diapers!!

6. I am working part time from home for Candice (State Farm) and it's really working out great!! Money to help pay our rent and gives me an escape everyday into the world of adults and professionalism. ;)

7. Robert's work split into 2 parts: one is AMR and just has the paramedics and ALS EMTs (911). and the other is a subsidary of AMR for BLS EMTs only (transfers). Basically, he's been working BLS night shifts, since they pay more $, but are very boring. Now, since the split, we decided he should stay with the AMR side and work with a medic doing ALS (911). This means a slight pay cut(since it's day pay, but a promotion), but something he's been wanting to do for a long time and should be so great for his career and keeping him happy at work. I'm excited and proud of him!

So, I think I got all the Life Updates in here....we've just been going crazy with deciding all of this stuff and trying to plan it all out and stay sane! In the end I think we will look back at 2011 and go "what the heck happened to that year" such a whirlwind of events.

Easter Love!

Trip to Truckee with Candice and Darren in the snow!! So Much FUN!!!

Sleeping Beauty on mommy's wedding dress! I knew if I kept it all these years I would find a use for it!! :)

Christmas 2010 pt2

Christmas 2010

This is the best family picture we have! Finally!!
So I thought I would put up some Xmas photos and just do a life update since it's hard to remember to update this blog nowdays.
Alexya is enjoying preschool. She's moved up to the 4-5yr old pre-K class every Tues/Thurs for 3hrs each. She's making new friends since her best friend from her old class, Sophia, is not in her new class. She has a new friend, Emma, who invited her to a birthday party this weekend at a jumpy house place and she had so much fun. I was told that my "daughter makes friends very easily." Too funny since she used to be so super shy. She's actually going to make the cut to start Kindergarten this year in the fall...which is Very Exciting! She's started a Cheerleading class on Fridays that she really likes since two of her friends are in it and gets to do a recital in March in costume. Should be really cute.
On the personality note she's a negotiator still and even crazier is that most times she has a good argument for her case and so I have to explain myself a lot and sometimes just give in because she's exhausing to argue with! She's also very independant with things and likes to help me out (when it looks like fun or when I look upset or super tired). She's crazy about Sonny and always is hugging him and telling him she loves him...and then hitting him with something and making him cry...then says she's so sorry and hugs him till he stops crying. Ya, it's crazy. The good news is that she's playing with Sonny or by herself a lot these days.

Santino is turning 2 in 2 days and is just so BIG. It blows me away when I see "normal" 2 year olds next to him. He's talking so much now...saying complete sentences and he even thinks and rephrases when you don't understand what he's saying. He's excellent at communicating. He's also super sensitive to when Robert or I get mad... in fact anyone gets mad at him. I think Alexya did that at his age too though. Also, he won't go to anyone but us, especially me/mommy...and usually the other Male figures in his life. He LOVES Uncle Chris and Uncle Danny and Grandpa and Papa Mike and Papa and even Uncle Darren and other guys that he sees often. Not too comfortable around any strangers at all/even kids! He's super smart though and can figure things out very quickly. He uses my Ipad and Robert's Iphone and will spend time learning how to do something w/o getting frusterated...which blows me away because Alexya is the opposite-easily frusterated! He's even decieded to start using the potty, randomly, so we got him some pull ups-which are WAY easier to change than diapers! No one ever told me this and since Alexya never used them I'm so excited finding this out now! I can just tell him to "go take off his diaper and get me a new one" ever time he goes pee, then he just steps into the new one...it's awesome!

So I think that's the kid update and I just wanted to get it written down because this all seems like it's going SO fast and I know I'm not going to remember most of this stuff in a couple months because they both will have changed. All I know is that I'm so glad that I get to stay home and be with them all the time and that I'm lucky enough to be able to do that. I wouldn't want to miss this for the world, even the crappy, horrible, stressfull, mommy-overload days....because the Good totally overrides the Bad and it's all memories that I will cherish when my monsters are grown up.

Thank you God for my Family! I am very blessed and happy. :)

My social butterfly!

Alexya w/Aunt Lauryn & Santino w/Uncle Danny