HUGS!

I was thinking about how lucky I am to have my kids and it inspired me to look back through pictures and find my favorite ones where they are both hugging each other. There are moments where Alexya wants to hug Sonny & he doesn't want a hug, and vice versa...but the moments when they both want to hug each other are the best for me.
So now Alexya has had a month and a half of Kindergarten and is in the swing of things. She has her best friends: Sara, Jocelynn, Malary & Teresa and looks forward to seeing them everyday, packing her lunch, doing homework and showing me what she made at school each day. She's learning how to write all the letters, capital and lowercase, and what sounds they make. She's very eager to learn, so it makes it fun. She's always asking me to quiz her on her letters and then she quizzes me! :) I've noticed Sonny starting to point out letters now too...trying to keep up with big sissy. I really loved school and so it's fun to get to do it again with Alexya.
So our daily routine is like this: wake up at 5-6am and have breakfast. I make my mocha w/my new espresso machine and coffee grinder (thanks Mom/Stephen & Robert!!! LOVE my b-day gifts every day!). We pack lunch and watch cartoons. We get ready for school and drop off Alexya at 10am then come home. I start my work, working for Aunt Candice/State Farm (Sonny is either being good and watching movies at this time, or being bad and getting time outs and having tantrums at this time...this will determine if it's a good day or bad day). Then it's "time to go pick up sissy" at 1:45. We come home and go over school work/do homework and eat lunch. Daddy's off at 3 and home usually by 4pm. Then it's play time or errand time until dinner time, bath time, bed time 8pm. .... Then it's my relax time when I get to watch all my Tivoed shows!!! Loving Vampire Diaries (except this season is bugging me so far) CSI, Grey's Anatomy, Gossip Girl, the Mentalist, and the new show Revenge is really good! So this is our weekly routine and we really look forward to weekends!!!

This weekend is going to be not really looked forward to, however, because it's my due date of when I would have had Francisco, October 8th. Robert had a good idea of going to church (dropping off the kids first) and lighting a candle for him on his would-have-been birthday. We've been talking about what happened recently because it seemed like it all happened so fast and we just sort of pushed through it without really dealing with it together. Alot of emotions just got pushed down to deal with later...and now it's later. We talked about it and each decided to kind of remember him in a special way. I have a necklace that Theresa gave me for mother's day last year that has two charms on it- one girl w/a Topaz stone (Alexya's birthstone) and one boy w/a Garnet stone (Sonny's birthstone). I love my necklace and wear it every day because it's very special to me. So I decided to buy a charm for Francisco- a boy w/an emerald stone (his birthstone & deathstone?) Anyway, adding it to my necklace makes me feel like I have my complete family with me at all times and has made me feel really good. Everytime I get sad or miss him or think about him I just hold his little guy on my necklace. Robert had an idea to get another tatoo. He's got one on one arm that has my name and "mi vida" wrapping around a cross, and "hernandez" on his back. He wants to get one on his other arm now that has "Francisco" and some sort of angel wings or something special to remember him. I love the idea! I think it's helped us alot to talk about things and not just try to block it out. I think it's human nature to try to block out bad things that happen to you...but this bad thing was also a good thing and a family member, and so it's very confusing how to feel. I know we lost him and never got to meet him, but I also know that he's up in heaven watching over his family every day. I want to remember him and never forget him. We both love him very much and he's still one of our kids, just not here on earth.